I Shouldn't Still Love You or Tell You That
by Nicole Lo
Summary: Angela's life a year after she finds out that Brian wrote the letters to her, not Jordan. rr for more! Even more, Jordan realizes that she does mean something to him, but how much?
1. Default Chapter

I Shouldn't Still Love You or Tell You That  
By: Nicole Lopez  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own My So-called Life and have no connection to it other than my television.  
  
Summary: A year into Angela's life after she finds out that the letters that Jordan wrote were really from Brian.  
  
Pre-Chapter It is weird how like a year can change everything. Here I am, two days after my birthday, packing. My parents are like divorcing and I have to move away. And, I like, actually thought things were coming together. Even worse, I can't like talk to anyone about it. And Sharon. God, how did that happen? I wish that I could like help her. But I won't even like be here.  
  
It's weird how like I thought things were working out with me and Jordan. But I'm like more confused than ever. Rosa is like the life ruiner. Everything was perfect until she like showed up out of the blue. The worst part is that she is like going to have my life. I never saw it coming ...  
  
(A/N: I know. It's short, but it is a pre-chapter. Besides, I wanted to see if anyone was interested. Read and review for more!! NL) 


	2. I Haven't Ever Really

Chapter One: I Haven't Ever Really...  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about Sharon." I told one of my best friends.  
  
"You do. I know Brian told you about the letters."  
  
"It's not like really important, really. I've talked to Jordan and--"  
  
"And ... what?"  
  
"I really like him, and if he like went through all the trouble ... it was for something." I admitted, playing with my fading red hair. I wanted to change at the color because it reminded me so much of Rayanne, but at the same time, it reminded me of the first time I kissed Jordan.  
  
"But he lied to you Angela. He could do it again." Sharon argued, trying to protect me.  
  
"Are you like serious?" I shook my head. "Jordan Catalano cares about me. He only like lied because he had to." I responded, applying some new lipstick. "I mean, it's not like he'll like ... do it again." I answered angrily. Everyone was always telling me that he was bad for me and that he wouldn't change, but I wanted him to so bad, and I seriously believed that he could.  
  
"Angela." I ignored Sharon, upset that she had completely ruined my entire day. "Fine, you're mad at me. But..." Her tone began to change. "I have the juiciest news!" She began describing how much fun she had at some party last night, the party that Jordan Catalano was probably at. Sharon described every disgusting detail of how she made out with some random guy. She sounded like so excited like he was the one or something. I couldn't like help but think what Jordan Catalano was probably doing at the party ... if he like stayed or thought about me ...  
  
"But, aren't you like seeing Kyle?" I interrupted, snapping out of fantasy land.  
  
"Unofficially." Sharon responded, continuing her story about how much they had in common and how funny he was ...  
  
Unofficially. What was that? And did like Jordan Catalano think that we were like unofficial or something? I didn't even like know where we stood. How pathetic was that? It like a new school year and I didn't like know what was like going on with him. I wasn't even sure if I like fully forgave him. I just like ... really wanted things to be like they were before Rayanne. But like ... since I was like forgiving Jordan screwing up, did I have to like forgive her too? Rayanne ...I didn't know if I could. She was like supposed to be my best friend.  
  
"Angela!" Brian Krakow called after me. Those words ... from those letters had made things odd. Did he like really feel that way? "Angela!" He called again as I completely ignored him, trying to lose him in the crowd. But he found me.  
  
"What?" I asked, annoyed.  
  
"Umm ... I like have your--" I cut him off.  
  
"Are you like stalking me now or something?"  
  
"No. I have your book." Brain Krakow handed me a Chemistry book. I didn't say anything, feeling a little bad for like being mean to him. I like almost felt bad for yelling at him. "You can't just like pop up like that." I explained to him.  
  
"I didn't like mean to. I mean like ... I thought you'd need it or something." He responded, avoiding my gaze as I was avoiding his.  
  
"How did you like get it anyway Brian?" I looked past him to see Jordan Catalano, the person that I had like been waiting to see. The one person that I like hadn't seen much of over the summer. A small smile crept over my mouth. "I have to like ... go." I brushed past Brian Krakow towards Jordan. Feeling bold, I wrapped my hands around his eyes. I had like seen it in a movie and wanted to know what it like felt like.  
  
"What the..." Jordan began, confused.  
  
"It's me." I whispered, letting go and like feeling really stupid.  
  
"Oh. What do you want?" Jordan Catalano snapped, seeming less-than-thrilled to see me.  
  
"I just like wanted to see you. I haven't like seen you in a while and like ..." My voice trailed off as I like wished I could disappear.  
  
"Yeah, well, you're looking at me now." I felt like I was like a fly at that moment. A fly that like Jordan Catalano wanted to get rid of. I was like annoying him.  
  
"That's not what I meant." I answered, almost asking him if we could like start over. "I'm sorry if I'm like burdening you by like being here. I thought you'd want to ... like--"  
  
"Like what?" Jordan wondered, staring deeply into my eyes and seeming ... sincere. It was like amazing how his moods like changed so much. Like the wind. I almost scared me how he looked at me like I was somebody. Like I was like important to him.  
  
"Nothing." I whispered, chickening out. I couldn't like just say that I like ... really liked him ... maybe even loved him, not without like hearing it from him first. Jordan leaned in closely to me, staring me down as I like acted on impulse and kissed him. It was magical. It was like I was like apart of him and it was just us, for that one moment. When I opened my eyes, he was like walking down the hallway and I was left all alone with my scarf, to like play with.  
  
(A/N: How's it going? Love it, hate it, let me know. Any kind of comments will help. So if you read it, review it so I know someone's reading. Thanks! NL) 


	3. MidChapter: You're Better Off that Way

Mid- Chapter: You're Better Off that Way 

(A/N: Thanks for the advice ... by the way ... "I" always refers to Angela and everyone else is talked about in 3rd person)

Rosalita came rushing from across the hallway, pushing Jordan into an empty storage closet. He had met her at a couple of parties and it sort of ... grew. 

"Sup Catalano?" She asked, looking at him intensely as if she expected something from him.

"Nothing." He looked away thinking about Angela and how he just like left her ... it made him feel ... guilty.

"Feeling bad about last night?" Rosalita asked, completely reading Jordan's mind. "I'm so not sorry that I kissed you." He continued to avoid her gaze. Now, Rosalita was making him nervous like Angela always did. "Okay." She chuckled. "How's home?" Rosa wondered, taking my Jordan's hand in hers. "You see this split in your love line ..." He nodded, hanging on her every word. "It means you'll have a choice between two paths ... two girls."

"No." Jordan snapped back into reality. He was not going to go chase after some girl, much less two girls.

"Yeah. I swear." Rosa let go of Jordan's hand, completely changing the atmosphere. "You look out of it. Sad?" She lessened the distance between them, coming closer to Jordan as if she were going to kiss him ... and maybe Jordan ... wanted her to. Instead, Rosa laughed. "Cheer up."

"Why did you like..." He began, not sure of what to say. There was like something going on ... with Rosa. He had like no control over what happened because she like knew him better than everyone ... even Angela.

"Bring you here?" She finished, shrugging. "I don't know, but let's get out of here." Rosalita suggested. "I hate fourth period."

"You wanna like get a ride or something."

"And whoever said you weren't smart?" Rosa wrapped her arm around Jordan's thin body. "What do you say?" She let go of him, tucking Jordan's hair behind his left ear. "It looks better like that. Symmetrical or something."

"Let's go." Jordan ran my hands through his hair. Rosalita was getting a little too territorial ... like she actually cared...

"I like feel so odd and awkward." I admitted to Ricky. "When I saw Jordan Catalano, I like babbled and chased him away. God, I'm so stupid. Couldn't I see that he didn't want to talk to me?" I continued, feeling worse every time I thought about it and replayed it in my mind.

"You're not stupid. You're in love." Ricky explained. "And Jordan Catalano feels the same."

"That is like, so impossible. I mean ... what if he never speaks to me or like starts avoiding me?"

"I don't think that'll ever happen. You two are seriously drawn to each other." Ricky offered, looking directly over my shoulder.

"Is there something over there I should see Ricky?" I wondered, ready to rag on myself for being so insensitive. Ricky probably wanted to tell me about his latest crush or something.

"No. Nothing to see. Let's go." He responded quickly, tugging my body in the opposite direction from where s=he was looking.

"Ricky, what's going on?" I exclaimed loudly, curious. "You aren't hiding anything are you?" I rushed past him, making my way back to where he had been looking.

"Angela, Angela ... wait!" Ricky called after me, blocking my view once again.

"What is your problem?" I pushed past Ricky, stopping dead in my tracks. There was Jordan Catalano ... kissing another girl ... and walking off with her. We were like four feet away from one another, but he didn't even seem to notice me ... at all.


	4. Be There Still

Chapter Four: Be There Still

(A/N: "The other woman's" name has been changed to Rosalie.)

"So, do I finally get to drive Red?" Rosalie asked rushing to the driver's side of Jordan's car.

"Are you serious?" Jordan Catalano responded, not ready to let anyone drive his car, yet. He took another puff from his cigarette ready to get away from this school.

"Hell yeah. And stop smoking. It's really bad for you." Rosalie was starting to like this guy, which was really stupid because he was totally in love. With Angela. She didn't even know her, but she knew how his whole demeanor changed when she talked about her. Like she was everything. Like that was it, all there was in life.

"Look, I..." Jordan began, but his voice trailed off as he looked for the right words to say. "Nobody's driving Red but me."

"I thought ... what's the big deal?" Rosalie jumped in the driver's side, touching the wheel.

"Hey! Out now." Jordan demanded, showing real emotion for the first time.

"No. Chill out."

"You're really pissing me off." He added.

"And you are such a baby. It's just a car Catalano." Rosalie slid over to the passenger's side, rolling her eyes. Little boys were so touchy with their toys. "Wait." She got out of the car. "I left something important in there. I really need to get it." Rosalie explained, not believing that she had just left her diary for anyone to read it ... it wasn't really a diary, just a list of personal thought and things that were _very personal. _

"Do you wanna go or not?" Jordan continued smoking the cigarette, waiting impatiently.

"Just give me two minutes. I'll be back. Promise." Rosalie took the opportunity to kiss Jordan again, but this time less forcefully. "Just wait." She rushed towards the building as fast as her fishnets and mini would carry her.

Angela had been watching from the side, missing the first warning bell, just so amazed by what she was seeing. The girl Jordan Catalano was with was ... beautiful. She was the kind of girl that you saw on the model runaways or something. She had a grace that Angela could only hope for.

"Is she like ... was that your girlfriend?" Angela forced herself to say what was on her mind. "Is that your new girlfriend?" She repeated, moving closer to Jordan. "She's really pretty." Jordan looked away, sighing inside with relief. He thought she would make a big deal out of it, but instead, Angela had just been so cool about it. She looked at him intensely with her wide-eyed innocence and he couldn't help but look back at her and wonder what was going to happen next.

"I'm not with her ... we're like ... No." He rushed to finish in barely understandable phrases.

"Oh." Angela laughed a little too loudly. "It's not like I care or anything. You're free to see whoever you want. I mean you don't have to like consult me or anything." She stumbled, wondering why she was even there. JordanandAngela didn't exist anymore. They had both decided on that.

"I know. Shouldn't you be in school? Class has started." Jordan Catalano lit another cigarette, feeling a little stressed.

"Those are bad for you." Jordan stopped as Angela looked at him with so much concern. Why did she have to care so damn much? Why did she always have to get involved with her naïveté and curiosity with everything he did? Angela's eyes examined Jordan Catalano's body as she waited for him to say something ... ask her to stay ... something, anything.

"Yeah, I know." Jordan responded, taking a couple of puffs before putting it out.

"Are you like going somewhere?"

"I'm like ... waiting for someone." Jordan put his hands in his pockets, trying to calm down. He was getting all shaky all of a sudden. He noticed that she was shaking too in her thin plaid short and overalls.

"Do you ... can I ... come?" Angela wondered, feeling like those clingy girls she always hated on those teen movies. The same girls who never seemed to understand that the lead guy didn't like her. "I mean, if what you have with this ... person ... is platonic, then it wouldn't be like I was intruding."

Platonic? Intrude? What language was this girl speaking, Jordan thought. Part of him wanted her so bad. He wanted her to come closer so that he could kiss her and live like it used to be for a little while. But Jordan knew that he couldn't. Angela always thought everything meant something. And she wanted ...

"No, you can't." I spat out rudely, upset that he had put his cigarette out for her. And where the hell was Rosalie. "Damn it Angela, don't you get it!" He screamed, trying to convince himself that he wasn't into her anymore.

"Okay. I'll just go now." Angela turned around, trying to shield the tears in her eyes. He was probably going to go off and kiss this girl and hold her and do whatever else they felt like and Jordan Catalano wouldn't even be thinking about her. "I'm like really sorry..." Angela tried to explain it to Jordan Catalano, but couldn't. Jordan watched her lips tremble as Angela tried to pull it together. Even after everything ... she was still the same. So innocent. So pure. So ... beautiful.

Swept up in the moment, Jordan Catalano, took Angela's hand in his, caressing it and hugging her soon after. This was his chance ... as they let go of one another, he cupped her face, releasing everything that he had felt for her in one kiss.

Angela pulled away slowly, but she wasn't upset. She was smiling. "Let's get out of here." Jordan suggested, opening the door for Angela. Jordan took the chance to kiss her again before the opportunity was lost. As he looked past her, he saw Rosalie. Just standing there. But it was like she wasn't there. Because ... Angela was in his car and it was like ... paradise.


	5. I’ll let it Pass

Part Five: I'll let it Pass

(A/N: "I" still refers to Angela and her perspective on things.)

He left, Rosalie thought to herself, watching Jordan Catalano entangling himself with Angela. Rosa knew that if she went to class, she'd be fifteen minutes late, they'd lock her out, and she would spend the next hour sitting in some abandoned room with a bunch of low-lives and a dull teacher. Without a car, she was stranded, so Rosa walked back into the building. She was going to go to class, alright, but not _her _class.

Rosalie walked down the hall, happy to see that there were no teachers in the hallways, but just some dorky kid with curly blonde hair. She hurried down the hall, bumping into the scrawny kid she had seen just moments earlier.

"Umm. You're like late." He informed Rosalie.

"And you 'like' bumped into me. But I'm still waiting for my apology.

"I'm sorry." Rosa shrugged and kept walking as Brian Krakow continued following her. "You need a pass." He told Rosa.

"Don't have one." Rosa popped in a piece of gum, not amused by her current situation. Catalano was going to hear it when he finally came back. She continued walking, getting annoyed that this little attempt at discipline was interfering with her art time. Looking at the clock in the hallway, Rosa realized that by the time she got out some fresh paint and decided what to work on, it would be time for a new period. Creative writing class it was. Maybe she could at least get some decent lyrics out of this less-than-ideal situation.

"Rosa, stop!" Brian yelled after her, forcing Rosalie to turn around.

"Do I know you?" She wondered, starting to think that this guy was stalking her.

"You're in my AP Physics class, but you never come."

"Oh."

"I know you from your lack of being there." Brian laughed to himself, stopping when he noticed that Rosa wasn't into chit-chat.

"So do you take notice of everyone who's missing or just me?" I waited for him to catch up with me, vaguely recognizing him. This was that guy Angela was always hanging around. This was the guy that Jordan Catalano was jealous of, but would never admit it. Funny that Rosalie would end up with him while Angela and Catalano were out gallivanting somewhere. "Are you going to give me a pass?"

"You don't have an excuse."

"Of course I do. I went to get my Physics book out of my car and spent a few minutes looking for it before I realized that it was in my locker. What luck, huh?"

"We have Physics tomorrow." Brian reminded her as Rosa rolled her eyes.

"You aren't giving me a pass are you?" He shook his head firmly. "Okay then ... what about a trade. You don't write this down, you just saw me go to my car to get my books, but I got locked out of my car and had to go to my brother for the spare. Just write me a pass. In exchange, you get to come to this party tonight. Invite only."

"Are you inviting me?"

"Yeah Mr. Smarty." Rosa blew a bubble, smacking her gum between her teeth. "This is all you'll need to know." She wrote her address and phone number on his hand.

"Actually it's Brian." Almost immediately, Brian was writing her a pass and Rosa smiled triumphed. It worked every time.

"So what class are you missing?" Angela asked Jordan Catalano, just happy to be in his car. I couldn't believe that I was back where I used to be just a few months ago. I couldn't have imagined ever being in this position again, skipping Geometry class to be with him, but only now it was Chemistry instead.

"English ... or something." Jordan grumbled, seemingly annoyed by my question.

"Oh." I responded, getting the point. An awkward silence followed and I was determined to try leading the conversation. "I was like talking to Sharon today ... I know about the letters Jordan." I admitted, deciding that he was too far away from the school to force me to get out or something like that.

"You do?" Jordan wondered, not seeming to understand anything I had just said. I wondered if he had been listening at all. He seemed so ... focused on something.

"I know what you did it." I began. "I ... like would've done the same thing. I mean I forgive you and I know what you did it."

"Forgive me?" Jordan asked in amazement as his voice started to rise.

"Yeah, I know that you meant whatever was written in the letters, and that's all that really matters. I don't even know--"

"Could you like shut up?"

"Okay. I just ..." He kissed me in mid-sentence, slowly pulling away and leaving me wanting more. With one kiss I was back to being putty. Jordan Catalano still had the power to turn me into the same insecure girl I used to be. As we continued to kiss, I couldn't help but wonder where we were ... what did this mean?

"Sup Catalano?" Rosalie asked Jordan as soon as she saw him. "Nice of you to leave me here alone. Nice to have someone to count on." She added, walking out of the building with a cigarette in her mouth. Rosa knew that she would be seeing him, but it was kind of weird to be seeing him in the building. Angela probably coerced him into it.

"You are like such a jackass for doing that." I reached in his pocket for a lighter, holding in all that I really wanted to say to him.

"So you like want me too..."

"Apologize, like any other normal human being. And mean it." Rosalie took in a small puff, letting the nicotine relax her. It didn't really take much. "That's not the way to get her back." She passed the cigarette to Jordan who couldn't go one day without one.

"What would you know?!" Jordan threw up his hands, getting moody, as usual. Rosalie smirked. She was the only one that Jordan could actually have a real conversation with and vice versa.

"I know how _not_ to keep someone, how to break their heart and ruin everything. If you want something real, then stop playing with her Catalano ... unless you want sex. Then I see what you're trying to do."

"I'm not like doing anything." Catalano put out his cigarette and Rosalie knew that he was actually listening to her for once.

"That's the problem. I mean, if you really want her prove it." I popped in some gum, trying to get rid of this awful taste in my mouth. Everything was fine until Catalano had shown up.

"You going to that party?" Jordan changed the subject.

"Yeah and I have a date." I lied, just to get a reaction. I'm going with Brian."

"Krakow?" Jordan started choking on ... whatever was in his mouth.

"Jealous?" I pressed, not even sure if Brian's last name was Krakow or not.

"No. Ditch him and come with me." Catalano offered. Rosalie rolled her eyes, not falling for it this time.

"Ditch the party and call Angela. I know you so wanna marry her." She teased instead, ignoring the gnawing pain that she was starting to feel in addition to that gross taste in her mouth.

(A/N: R/R I finally updated. Yah!! Maybe you'll get more in two weeks. Enjoy!! NL)


	6. And Hold My Tongue

Chapter Six: And Hold My Tongue

Brian

"I love this song!" Rosa yelled walking onto the dance floor as if it were a club. "Aren't you coming?" She paused, looking back at Brian.

"I don't like … dance," I responded as she rolled her eyes.

"Just sit in the corner or something and I'll _like_ get you later." I watched her lips the entire time and hoe she had one of those tiny beauty marks by her mouth. I wondered just how small it was and if she actually like noticed it existed.

"Are you like…" I began, but she was already off dancing. By herself. That was something I'd never have the courage to do.

Jordan

So, I didn't exactly like take Rosa's advice. Instead, I like brought Angela out. Here. At the party, which was like really saying something.

"So this is it?" Angela smiled excitedly. You could tell that she had never been to one of these types of parties before. She looked so great too, with her hair all wavy and her black fishnets under a black skirt.

"Yeah," I tightened my grip on her hand, not wanting to let go. I didn't want anything to separate us tonight. Everything was going to work out. Somehow.

We walked into the house which was bursting with life. The music was blasting, loud but things were a lot calmer than the would normally be. Angela and I just stood around for a few moments, taking everything in. Already things were getting a little awkward. I picked up a cup, offered her some, which she refused and chugged the drink by myself.

Instantly, I saw Rosa, dancing by herself. That's how I met her … I think. I might've been too stoned to really remember.

"You wanna dance?" Angela asked innocently, noticing that I was looking towards the dancefloor.

"A little later." I responded, kissing her. I couldn't help it. "I've got like stuff … to do." Angela nodded as if she understood me. I loved how she didn't have to question me about every little thing I did or said.

"Okay, I'll like get a drink or something." I nodded, walking over to Rosa. I knew I didn't have much time until Angela got back and I didn't want her to get the wrong impression of our situation. She was just some girl I knew …

Angela

I walked into the bathroom, completely overwhelmed by everything, How did I manage to end up here with Jordan? He was actually bringing me somewhere … like a _date _or something. Except there were people crawling all over the place. I had never seen anything like it and instantly understood why Raeanne had loved to party so much.

Taking this opportunity to calm down and get myself together, I pulled out a deep red shade of lipstick that Ricky had bought for me and suddenly noticed how limp my hair was. What had I been thinking … trying to crimp it and all. No wonder why Jordan had barely said a few words to me. Trying to undo the damage was going to take all night and I didn't want to waste it, so I walked out of the bathroom, hoping that he thought I looked better than I did. I should've stayed in there a little longer because nothing was going to prepare me for what I saw next.

Jordan

I moved behind Rosa, swaying as she did. She looked up, rolling her eyes as she turned around. "What are you doing _here_?" Rosa pulled me aside. "Why didn't you listen to me?"

"I kind of … took your advice." Soft of.

"Okay, I'm guessing she's here then. What do you expect to prove by bringing her here? This is not her element Catalano. Show her that you love her, don't bring her to one of these … parties." Rosa scolded, not liking the fact that I barely listened to a word she said anyway.

"I just wanted to come." I tried to explain.

"Whatever. You've been like drinking or sniffing too much of something." I followed her back onto the dance floor, chugging another drink on the way back. She always knew what I had been doing which got a little annoying at times.

"You are such an idiot." Rosa turned around narrowing her voice. "So, is she like following in love?" Her expression changed instantly as Rosa went back into the 'nosy' role.

"Maybe." I shrugged, not knowing if I could handle someone loving me. That's when they started to like expect shit out of you and expected you to be … perfect.

"You are so wasted." Rosa looked at me, disgusted. "You drove?" She looked concerned for an instant.

"I'm here." I whispered in her ear.

"Stop attempting to flirt. You suck at it." Rosa laughed. "Go get your woman." Rosa stopped dancing, whispering some more advice in my ear and giving me a small hug.

"Whatever." Our lips brushed as I let go and tried to remind myself who I had come here with and how tonight was going to be different. I stopped, staring at Rosa for a moment.

"Ahem." She cleared her throat. "I think you just messed up cowboy." I turned around to see a hurt Angela leaving the party. For once, I followed.

(A/N: This chapter was supposed to be longer, but I got tired of typing. Next time, we'll find out what happens between Jordan and Angela, Sharon's secret life, and Rae Anne's plan to get Angela back as a friend. Review, please and thanks for reading!! –NL)


	7. And You Will Think

Chapter Seven: And You Will Think

Angela

I wanted a phone so badly at that moment, to like call someone so that I wouldn't have to be here with Jordan. I'm not even sure if he kissed her but … I was starting to feel insecure again. Maybe I did something wrong, misread the signs or something. Maybe Jordan just wanted to be friends with me.

"Hey." I turned around to a male voice, hoping that it was Jordan coming to explain what had happened. "I like saw what happened."

"Brian, what are you like doing here?" I wondered, quickly wiping my tears away.

"I was invited." He replied, walking closer to me.

"Oh." Ever since he wrote those letters … I couldn't look at him the same way, even though he continued to deny ever writing them.

"I can like take you home if you want." Brian offered, sitting on the step beside me.

"Yeah, a nice long walks sounds good about now." I mumbled sarcastically.

"Actually … I like borrowed my parents now. License." Brian smiled as if it were a bid deal, dangling the keys in front of my face.

"Oh." I repeated turning back around and rehashing the scene with Jordan and that girl. Maybe he didn't even kiss her. Maybe I was just imagining things. Either way, I was beginning to hate this girl, who I barely even knew just because … she was closer to Jordan than I was right now. He might've even loved her like he never did me.

"We could … go back in there." Brian suggested, noticing that I was strangely quiet.

"Why, so I could like feel so much worse by looking at him?"

"No. You could pretend like nothing happened … cause it didn't … you don't even like have to look at Jordan." Brian continued trying to make me feel better.

"So, what? Should like hang out with you?" I almost laughed at the thought. Brian actually thought I was friends with him or something.

Brian looked down embarrassed as if he had just been reading my thoughts.

"Oh, you were like serious?" I wondered, feeling awful. Brian nodded as I reluctantly followed him back into the house. "Do you like want to dance?" I asked after a while of just standing and watching everyone else have fun.

"No." Brian answered sharply. "I mean, not with you."

"Oh." I sat back watching everyone else have fun. Even Brian got up and danced … with the same girl Jordan had been with earlier. I looked around for him, but he had already found me. We stared at each other for what seemed like an hour and I thought he would come over. I _almost _wanted him to. But then, he turned around and walked out. Just like he always does.

(A/N: So, how was that? I'll try to update every Tuesday or every other Tuesday, so tune in!! –NL)


	8. I've Moved On

Chapter Eight: I've Moved On

**Angela **

I couldn't even bare to look at him. Jordan or Brian. Who did he think he was running after me at the party and trying to like get me? He wouldn't get it. Ever. Not to say that I hated Brian Krakow, but he always seemed to be there to ruin perfect moments between Jordan and I. If had just—I don't know … not been there, then maybe Jordan would have come after me.

"Go away Krakow." I mandated, walking through the sticky grass on the front lawn. As it became more and more difficult for me to manuveur through the landscape, I realized that the ground was wet and it was raining.

"I-I can like drive you home."

"No thanks." I yelled, still waiting for Jordan. Where was he?

"Hey kid you're missing the party." The girl from before peaked out of the house and Brian followed her back.

I opened up my purse and pulled out the phone my parents had given me for "emergencies only." It must have weighted about 10 pounds, but without it, I would be stuck here.

**Jordan **

I had this burning urge that kept telling me to turn around and go after her. Follow Angela Chase and explain things to her that like … mattered. Naw, I shook my head instead, trying to shake her off my mind, but Angela was never completely gone from it.

I thought about her a lot and what she like saw in me. I kept disappointing her and that was what I did. Like father, like son. Instead, I needed to have fun and Rosalie was it.

She was like totally smokin' and looking at me like she felt the same way. Tonight would be fun. I smirked.

"What are you grinning about?" She approached me after bringing Krakow back into the house.

"Are you done with that loser?"

"That loser went after your girl," Rosa said slowly and flirtatiously as though she had something dirty on her mind.

"Let's hang out."

"You ditched me."

"I had stuff to do." I shrugged, revealing to her my stash of marijuana.

"Don't do it again." Rosa ordered as I remained silent and she kissed me eagerly. After that, I was willing to follow Rosa anywhere.

**Angela **

"At least try on this dress I found for you. It's so cute honey." Mom walked towards me with the hideous powder blue puffy sleeved dress that I had hidden earlier.

"I…"

"Tried to hide it? If you hated it why didn't you say so? It was so expensive Angela."

"Sorry mom. Maybe Danielle will like it." Immediately I heard coughing. My mom and I looked at each other. This did not sound good. The two of us left my room.

"Danielle's not going. She's got a little fever." Dad came rushing down the hallway before we even reached Danielle's room.

"Oh no." Mom looked at me sadly. "Your father and I have to go to this banquet. They're honoring him for--"

"I know." I rolled my eyes.

"I want you to stay and take care of your sister. I hope you're not too disappointed."

"Sure." I nodded, tucking my hair behind my ears. "I totally understand."

**Danielle**

"Get up." Angela commanded, coming into my room as soon as my parents were gone.

"I can't." I coughed. "I'm sick."

"Danielle, you were fine an hour ago. What's the real deal? Why didn't you want to go?"

"I knew that you'd have some better plans." I sat up and got out of bed, walking over to my closet. "Maybe a house party?" I wondered, pulling out a half top and pairing it with some neon leggings. "What do you think?"

"No way." Angela complained, snatching the shirt from me. "You'd look like a badly dressed street walker."

"Well I think you're just jealous because I've developed faster than you have." I gloated, looking down at my rapidly growing breasts. They were like boy magnets.

"You're right. I'm mega jealous." Angela joked. "You seriously cannot wear this junk. Where did you get it from?" Angela threw down the clothes.

"Fine. I'll—" Ding dong. Ding dong. The ringing doorbell interrupted me.

"Are you expecting friends? Danielle if you planned something--"

"I didn't. I swear." Angela ran down the stairs as I followed her.

**Ricky **

"I came over as soon as I heard. That Rosalie girl was like rubbing it in, talking about how much 'fun' she had with Jordan Catalano." I began, walking into Angela's as soon as she opened the door.

"Thanks for picking me up last night." Angela sighed.

"No problem." I hugged her tightly. "I'm here to cheer you up and … I brought reinforcements."

"Ricky, you didn't." Angela hid her face in her hands once she watched Rayanne Graft walk in as well.

"Who better to help you out than your old friend?"

"Angela, I'm so sorry about what happened. Jordan Catalano is an ass and I'm totally up for getting back at him. The nerve of him to do this to you." She embraced Angela who just closed her eyes and tried not to move.

"Just close the door." Angela sighed as Rayanne gave me a quick glance.

"I don't think revenge is the answer."

"Ricky, he's a jerk. He keeps hurting Angela and she keeps going back for more. All we have to do is make him hurt like she is."

"No thanks Rayanne. I can't like … trust you with anything like this. You understand right?" Angela added softly showing that she did still care about preserving our trio.

"Tell her about the guy." I whispered to Rayanne, giving her a nudge.

"I don't think she'd be up for it."

"So." I argued back.

"I found a guy to help you forget about Catalano." Rayanne began, finding her way into the kitchen and drinking milk straight from the carton.

"Guy? What guy?"

"A _college _guy." I added with a smile.

"Who's in college?" Angela's little sister Danielle wondered from the stairwell.

"What's she doing here?"

"I'm stuck on babysitting duty." Angela rolled her eyes.

"I'm not a baby." Danielle protested. I was so enwrapped in what was going on that I barely noticed her.

"Well … what do you think--" ding dong.

**Brian **

"Oh, it's you," Angela said emotionlessly, not offering to let me in.

"Yeah. I noticed that you weren't at school today and--"

"Ricky's already brought the assignment. You had to like know that already, right Brian?" Angela placed her hands on her hips commandingly.

My eyes followed her hands, the quick toss of her hair, the plaid button-down shirt that covered Angela Chase's tiny, petite body. Her hands were crossed over her chest and then later on her hips. I wondered what was beneath her hands, like the shape of her hips or the exact curve of her waist. She always like hid everything so I had to imagine it.

"Why are you here?" Angela wondered boldly.

"I was just in the neighborhood and…."

"Quick. Get in." Angela yanked me by the shirt, slamming the door so close to me that I thought part of me would get stuck in between it and the door frame.

I watched Angela's expression change from extreme worry back to her normal self. It reminded me of the poem I wrote about her last night. "Angela's Eyes." It lacked a great title, but everything I wrote about her was real.

Every single emotion. I ached for her to look at me like she did Jordan Catalano. Knowing that he didn't write those poems hadn't even changed anything. She loved Jordan more and hated me even more.

"If Ms. Willow had seen us, mom and dad would hear about this and like think I had a party or something." Angela explained.

"Hey … everyone." I waved stiffly to Ricky, a quiet and lurking Danielle, and … an out-of-place Rayanne Graft.

"Krakow. Heard you like to party." Rayanne laughed.

"Yeah. Did you have fun?" Angela cocked her head to the side as wild whiffs of red hair followed. I almost had the feeling that this question wasn't just an innocent one, but loaded with anger and betrayal.

"It was fun. Yeah, but I like…"

"Enough about the dull high school party. I want to finish talking about the college dude. He's a total babe." Rayanne hopped onto the couch, putting her legs on the coffee table of the living room, dirty shoes and all.

"What college guy?" I asked, concerned that I'd have compete with someone else to get attention from Angela.

"Hey Brian." Danielle walked into the living room quickly, sitting so close that she was almost on my lap.

"Hi." I smiled, then turned back to the trio.

"Well, how old is he?" Angela wondered.

"Twenty." Ricky answered.

"Twenty … That's too old." I commented, although everyone continued to talk as though I wasn't here.

"You know I read that book you were talking to Angela about, Pride and Prejudice, and you were so right about it being deep. I wish everyone would be more open--"

"Yeah. That's nice." I nodded, trying to see if I'd missed any important information. "We can talk about this later, okay?." I offered, trying not to be too mean to her. But seriously, what could I have to say to a middle school kid?

"That's a four and a half year difference." Angela complained. "And I think it's weird that he wants to date someone in high school. I don't even know his name."

"He's the sweetest guy I've known. So sweet that means he's too boring for me. You'd love him. And his name is … umm … Ricky help me out here." Rayanne continued.

"You don't like remember his name?" Angela wondered shaking her head. "I can't go out with someone _you _barely know, especially if it were just me and him. That would be weird."

"Then group date. Me, you, Ricky, and … the guys." Rayanne smiled.

"What if he tries to hurt you or something? You'll need more than just Ricky and Rayanne." I spoke up.

"Krakow, get real. A license and one good summer doesn't make you the next Hulk Hogan." Rayanne turned me down quickly.

"It wasn't an offer. I'm going with."

"Then so am I." Danielle joined in. "If not, I'll tell mom and no one will be going out."

Angela exchanged glances with Ricky. "Count me out. I don't even have anything to wear and this hairstyle--"

"So taken care of. Me and you are going to have like a girls day out. I'll call everyone up for … Wednesday night and I'll come by Tuesday night to do the makeover."

"Fine." Angela agreed.

"Wednesday it is." I added with a smile.

"I think it's time for you to go Krakow." Rayanne's eyebrows rose while she opened the front door for me.

"Just call when--"

"Goodbye." My words were cut off by the slamming of the door. "What a dork." I heard Rayanne add behind the door as laughter followed.

**Rayanne**

This was my one chance. I was just so nervous and fidgety that I couldn't stop moving. Angela was so close to being my best friend again and someone like me needed someone like her. People like me didn't get real friends, we got real screwed over.

I was lucky enough to have Ricky still, but Angela was like this huge suburban jackpot, the epitome of someone with a real future.

"Insane, this is insane." I danced around the house, looking for all the supplies that I'd need. Continuously moving, I couldn't stop for a second which caused Amber to try and calm me down. "I'm glad you and Angela finally decided to make up, but you have got to relax."

"I know Amber." I rolled my eyes. "Just give me a sec." I responded, heading for the secret place where I had hidden some booze just in case. To this point, well actually since the band concert last year, I had done a good job of not touching it, but this was a special occasion, worthy of celebrating and calming me down. I felt like if I didn't, my brain would explode from all the dancing it was doing.

"Rayanne Graff, what are you doing?" Amber asked as I hurried to stash the booze in a new place, quick.

"Why don't you stop being such a mom and help me pick a hair color?"

"You're dyeing it?"

"Maybe. Remember, we have lots of options here." I nodded, repeating what my drama teacher always told me. There was more than one card to play. "Which means that I can handle it."

"Are you sure? I would really like to help."

"I've got it under control." I nearly pushed Amber out of the door. Peace and quiet, well sort of. The neighbors were back to their usual bickering next door but I had one less voice messing with my brain. Now back to the liquor.

**Jordan**

Rosalie kissed me passionately, but I wasn't into it. My mind started to wander to the party night. I had fun, an empty fun where I knew what to expect. Who was going to do what.

We could all be like so predictable, just like our parents. Like my dad would always come back and like wreck everything. He never laid another hand on me, but I had to always like be there just in case. But it was just so like tiring. And so expected.

Me with Rosalie right now was like not anything new. If it wasn't her, it'd be some other random girl who just like wanted to be with me for no particular reason. Normally, I would be able to like give in to my inner desires, which told me that I needed someone to kiss me like she did and flirt with me like she but …

I really like don't. I couldn't get my mind right. It was all wrong and it was all because of Angela Chase. She could be like so real sometimes by just like being _her_. I could never be so stripped like her. She was like naked, raw, and not tainted by this thing that like told us who we were, the thing that told me I was a nobody from like the wrong side of tracks.

Rosa looked at me like I was the perfect revenge against her parents, her friends, and everyone. Angela looked at me like she wanted to know me and like nothing that I did or would do could scare her away. I liked that look.

"I feel like I'm not kissing anything." Rosalie complained, taking my chin in her hand and forcing me to look straight in her eyes. I just closed them, imagining Angela's red hair. I loved it. It was so shiny and like had this vapor power over me.

"Pay attention." Rosa demanded grabbing my chin and kissing me passionately as if she pretended like this would real, it would be real.

"Hmmm." I moaned, thinking about how good it would be to kiss Angela right now. Her lips were so soft and looking like they were like … calling me for. I loved her lips.

"That's more like it." Rosa smiled, incorrectly believing that she was the cause of my moan.

**Angela **

"Am I too late?" I knocked on Rayanne's door, my hair soaked from the rain outside. She appeared immediately, letting me in.

"I guess I don't have to wash your hair."

"Yeah... can you like hurry? My mom doesn't know I'm here." I explained, ignoring the fact that Rayanne's eyes looked a little glazed over. And she smelled of liquor. That wasn't my problem anymore.

"Do you trust me?"

"No." I whispered even though a part of me still wanted to.

"Did you used to trust me?" Rayanne rephrased her question.

"With my life." I admitted as we both stopped to look at each other. I quickly yanked off my coat to avoid breaking down and just forgiving her. It would makes things so much easier, but I just couldn't, yet.

"Your color is fading." Rayanne responded, playing with some of the tools she had in the kitchen. "I can even see some blonde growing back."

"It's not holding me back this time." I answered. "It's the people."

"I know you don't trust me Angela, and you won't for a while ... maybe not ever, but I know exactly what you need--what your _hair _needs. Can you trust me?"

"I have to be back before dinner." I responded, as Rayanne nodded, preparing to do whatever it was she had planned. I had never seen Rayanne like this ... so quiet and subtle. She was always feisty and completely honest ... until she slept with Jordan. I just couldn't get over that.

**Tuesday at school… **

**Angela **

My mind is like my own worst enemy. It goes on this journey and leaves the rest of me behind and it doesn't even matter if I want to go there. I have to.

Besides this new like bob cut thing Rayanne had done to my hair, I started to think about how what I was doing to her was wrong. I wasn't like talking to her anymore, but I was like accepting this haircut and … the college boy.

Was it wrong or was this like, expected as some collateral for the damages I dealt with? Like knowing your best friend and your sort of boyfriend, who you're so into, like did it … and at one point, I thought about doing _it _with him.

My brain started to hurt as I tried to get to my next class, Pre-calculus.

**Jordan**

I saw her coming around the corner, looking down like she did a lot. What did she have to like not feel confident about? Everything about her screamed out everything I wasn't. She was so ... pure and she had this light ... thing that made the world a little brighter.

As she got closer, I noticed it. Her hair. It was different like, more sophisticated and I almost felt like not good enough to talk to her. But I decided to anyway.

"Angela." I breathed just loud enough for her to hear. She continued walking.

I continued talking. "My dad like came back last night. He was like so beyond angry the thought he could like take it out on us again. I heard it over my music, the screaming and the broken stuff. He had my mom against the wall by like her thro--"

"Why are you saying this to me?"

"You left me at the party."

"No, you left me." I heard her voice start to raise. Angela was about to lose it, over me. "Why did you like … do that? Didn't you think it would bother me to see you like ditch me? I still barely talk to Rayanne…."

"Don't say that." I turned away, ashamed. My fingers brushing her lips a little to stop her from saying more. The truth. I could barely forgive myself for that night. I was too drunk to notice, but that was no excuse. I got too drunk to drown out the memory of Angela, and half-thought that it was her I was sleeping with. It didn't like matter anyway. It was what was like expected of me, a complete idiot.

"Why can't you take the truth?" She asked, as my hand found its way back to my body. I bit my lip to hold back my sensation of wanting to comfort her. "You hurt me Jordan." Angela admitted, stopping suddenly as if she like said too much. The two of us stood in silence, breathing heavily our minds racing, but our bodies remaining still.

"It's like…" I stopped myself. I always did this. I couldn't say what I wanted. It was like stuck in my brain, dying to come out ... I was too much of a dumbass.

"Like what?" Angela walked closer to me, looking at me with the most encouraging look I had ever seen. I felt so … safe like this with her, like she wouldn't care if I was exactly like everyone thought or something more.

"Let's go somewhere." I whispered in her ear, my lips accidentally brushing her ears, sending a chilling sensation through my body.

"I can't Jordan. I have class." Angela declined.

"Wait." I called as she started to leave, caressing her face and kissing her tenderly. I felt Angela resist a little, then give in.

" Jordan …"

"Your hair is like … different."

* * *

(A/N: I found this MSCL webpage that helped to fill me in on everything I've forgotten about the show and it really helped. I've cut down on the "likes" and thanks for the reviews, please KEEP THEM COMING:) --NL) 


	9. I Will Go Down with this Ship

**Chapter Nine: I Will Go Down with this Ship**

* * *

**Angela **

I was elated. It was sickening that he didn't even like truly compliment me. All he said was that my hair was different. Was it a good different or a bad one? My mind was racing. My heart had sped up so quickly, but I just stayed silent.

While thoughts of Jordan Catalano were skating through my mind in circles, it was my mom's reaction last night that had really gotten to me. After the banquet she came home crying and dad … he wasn't there. I couldn't understand it.

"Angela." Jordan almost whined.

"I'm sorry, were we talking about something?"

"No. Forget it." He started to turn away, obviously hurt by something that I had done.

"Wait. I'm sorry." I ran after him. I kept doing these really desperate things, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to save him. I wanted to have him in a way that no one else did. "Forgive me." I breathed, being bold and hugging him tightly. "Why did you ditch me?"

"My dad … he … never mind." Jordan shrugged it off. Instead, he caressed my hair carefully. "Beautiful …" He breathed simply as my chest nearly burst. I'd never heard those words from him before.

"Rayanne did it." I answered, partly because it was true and I wanted to see him react. It hurt him. His eyes widened and then he pulled away a little.

"Angela … I can't … I'm so…"

"I know. I know you can't take it back." I finished for him. Even with his incoherent fragments, I seemed to understand all that he wanted to say. "But you can let me get to know you Jordan. Like… I want to know _everything_." I gushed, holding onto both of his hands as once again, everything was meaningless compared to being here with him.

"Come to this party. Tonight." He hung his head so I couldn't see his eyes. "The band's playing and …"

"I can't." I whispered, wanting to slap myself as soon as it was said. "I…"

"It's okay." He started to back away.

"Wednesday night … I'm going out with my friends. You should come!" I screamed out, but had no idea of knowing if Jordan heard me. If he did, he didn't make any gestures to let it be known.

* * *

**Danielle**

Parents can be really stupid sometimes. They think just because they talk in riddles and hide behind dark corners, that their children won't notice.

Things have been rough at home for a couple of months and I could just see my parents drifting apart. They were playing up the happy upper middle class suburban role well, but anyone who lived in suburbia knew that we were the most disturbed people there were.

Drug addicts. Secret children. Secret lovers … that was our world. I had a feeling that our home would be the next to do down in flames.

Whether or not Angela noticed or even cared was to be determined. I was going to find out why.

"Hey mom." I greeted her casually Tuesday afternoon after band practice. Angela was out with one of her friends, so it was just us two.

"Danielle. How was your day sweet heart?"

"Fine … can I ask you something mom?"

"Anything." She paused for a moment as I continued talking.

"Why were you crying last night and where was dad?"

"I was just a little sad honey. Mood swings." She answered with a smile. Mood swings.

"That excuse worked when I was four. You never cry mom and dad's always here."

"There's nothing going on for you to worry about. Your dad and I have just received some shocking news and he's just giving me a couple of days to think about it."

"Oh." I knew when to give up. "Later mom." I ran back upstairs. Plan B was to snoop around until I found out the real deal.

* * *

**Ricky**

"You did _what_?" I yelled.

"Yesterday I invited Jordan, but he probably won't even come. He seemed disinterested." Angela justified as I put the finishing touches on her look for tonight.

"That wasn't a good idea Angela." Rayanne chimed as our red-headed bombshell gave her the most evil look that could come from such an innocent mind.

"He's not coming." She repeated, seeming sadder every moment those words were said.

"And that's perfect. You will love Hayden."

"Sure." Angela smiled, the mixed-matched colors and patterns thrown to the side and a simple black dress being worn instead.

"Okay, you totally look twenty. At least." Rayanne gushed happily. "You look amazing."

"Thanks."

* * *

**Brian**

"Where's Angela?" Jordan wondered, coming so close to me that I backed myself into one of the lockers. He smirked. I was afraid and he knew it.

"How would I know?"

"You know everything she does."

"Well … maybe she's like … going to this thing tonight with like … some friends."

"What time … where?" Jordan asked desperately. I knew I should've lied and told him someplace else, but I wasn't that type of person. Lying to Angela about my feelings for her was bad enough. So, I cowardly divulged all of the details, minus her having a date and the college guys.

I watched Jordan wonder away, perplexed as to why she like …liked him. I shrugged and decided to get ready for tonight. I was technically on babysitting duty since Danielle was there, but I wouldn't miss a moment to spend with Angela for anything.

* * *

**Rosalie**

"You don't understand mom. I don't _want _another father. The ones that I've had have been horrible enough." I protested in half Portuguese, half English.

"Rosa, listen. There's something you need to know."

"Oh God no." I sat down at our kitchen table, dismayed. "You're pregnant. Again mom? We don't have enough money for another abor--"

"No. Your father … your _real _father--"

"Is dead." I finished for her. "Dead since I was seven. Where's the story there?"

"That, wasn't your father Rosa. Your real, _biological _father is here. In town. And … he wants to take us to dinner tonight."

"You're joking?"

"No. I'm not. I lied all those years because this man, your real father is taking out to dinner tonight. His name is Gr--"

"I don't care. I'm not going."

"Rosa, please. This is my fault. I hid it from him." Mom explained.

"Look _Dores_, let me guess the real story … it's one of two things. Either you were 'involved' with so many people that--"

"Don't go there Rosa. I don't judge you with these high school punks you hang around." She shook her head, disgusted and I instantly felt sorry. "The real story is that he was married to someone else."

"And he's not anymore?" I sat down, interested. Mom was trying to having her own Brady Bunch ending.

"No, he is." She sighed. "But it's not working for him anymore. I've been seeing him Rosa. Since this summer. I've been meaning to tell you--"

"Don't. I'll go to this stupid dinner, for you, but after this you don't get to ask me for anymore favors." I stated, strongly. I hated infidelity. I hated when married people cheated. Why would you do that? Why spend the time and money to promise yourself to one person forever just to turn on them when you get bored? That's why I liked what Jordan and I had. We used each other, made no commitments so at the end of the day, no one got hurt.

* * *

**Angela**

Everyone crowded around at the local pizza place, Vinny's. When the guys walked in, Rayanne nudged me enthusiastically. "There's your man." She whispered, referring to the tall blonde who walked in last. Blonde? Definitely not what I was used to.

"Hi. I'm Jacob."

"Angela. Nice to meet you." I reached back to tuck my hair behind my ears before realizing that I had a cute angular bob. Throughout the whole time at Vinny's, Jacob was completely … nice. He was cute, but I was expecting someone else to walk through that door.

At one point I watched it for a few minutes straight until Rayanne nudged me.

"We changed the venue, remember? He's not coming because she doesn't know where you are." She explained. This somehow got through to me as we finished up our pizza and Jacob took my hand. Bold.

"I've noticed that you've seemed a little distracted tonight."

"Yeah, I've got a lot on my mind … but it's not like this isn't on my mind because it is. This is so important …I'll stop."

"No, it's cute." He smiled at me. "So, the guys want to go to a party."

"A party?"

"My thoughts exactly. There's a party every night. I want to go somewhere where I can get to know you better." He stated.

"Yeah." I nodded. "Umm … My friends and I were going to go bowling afterwards." My eyes wondered to the clock on the wall. It was after eight. I had to get home before ten unless my mom would freak out and Danielle was here too …

"Hey Ange, we're going to the party." Ricky announced as Rayanne made it obvious that she was going too.

"Danielle and I … can't." I answered firmly. "We're going bowling." Ricky rolled my eyes. He knew and I knew that Jordan already knew about the bowling alley. If things were going to turn out like I wanted them to, he'd be there. He would be waiting for me.

"Bowling? _Kwool_. Let's go!" Danielle yelled happily as Brian pouted.

"You could always take her home." I whispered to him as we started to leave.

"No. I don't trust this Jacob dude."

* * *

(A/N: Finally, an update! The last chapter was so long … sorry about that one. This one should be finished soon. I guess 3-4 more chapters or maybe less. I _might _even finish this year. If anyone is still reading, let me know about it. –NL)


	10. And I Won't Put My Hands Up and Surrende

**Chapter Ten: And I Won't Put My Hands Up and Surrender**

* * *

**Angela **

This Jacob guy was really getting to know me, really trying and I was like trying to let him in a little just in case Jordan showed up. I kept looking back at the door in between bowling turns and I started getting nervous.

God, why was I so nervous? He probably wouldn't even show up or he might even bring that girl with him, or knowing Jordan, it could even be like … a different girl. It all bothered me so much. I didn't want to like not show that I liked him as much as I did.

I started shaking just thinking about it. What would I say if he showed up? What if I waited here like an idiot and he never came?

As Jacob turned to face me and talk, I like _really _tried to stay focused on him and what he was doing, but I was thinking about Jordan Catalano. Heavily.

Danielle was tagging along in the background, Brian was ... doing whatever he did, and I kept watching the doorway. We even sacrificed the good lane just so I could like see if he was here. Did he get the memo? Did Brian tell him? I had to find out.

"You look preoccupied." Brian whispered to me once Jacob has taken his bowling turn.

"Yeah I am ..." My voice trailed off as I wasted no time solving the Jordan mystery. "Brian, Who did you tell about bowling?"

"Bowling ... Didn't we just decide on doing that?" He responded, much to my dismay.

"Yeah. You're right." I answered as Danielle took her turn. I noticed her, but I wasn't really seeing her or anything. Jacob must've noticed because he came up behind us, whispering into my ear, startling me. My short shivered quickly transformed into one huge jolt.

"Are you cold?" Jacob carefully placed his jacket around my shoulders. Cute college boy straight ahead. Pay attention Angela.

I looked up at him and smiled. "I'm okay." I finally decided to say, noticing that he was now sitting closer to me but … it didn't feel like weird or anything. I decided that I deserved this. College boy and me holding hands was okay because Jordan hadn't promised me … anything.

"So, you're on babysitting duty?" He asked, referring to Danielle.

"How do you know? Most people think she's older than I am." I answered freely really liking how this was going, so much so that I reached out for his hand. "They know better when she opens her mouth…"

"So, what time do you have to have her back?"

"She's not exactly the problem. The brooding blonde over there doesn't trust you. He like thinks your bad news and when he goes away, so will she."

"Oh." Jacob answered, catching my eye suddenly. We were engaged in like this intense gaze that was reminiscent of me watching Jordan hoping that he would soon watch me.

"Angela, it's your turn!" Brian yelled with a scowl as I smiled back at Jacob. He was totally believing that I was like … _older_ … like probably eighteen years old or something.

"I'll be right back Jacob--"

"Actually, you can call me Hayden. Jacob is what strangers call me." He smiled, hinting that he like wanted to be more with me. I smiled, but as soon as I did, I felt a prick of guilt.

Jordan was still fresh on my mind, but after I took my turn and curved my body to face Hayden-Jacob's, I realized that if Jordan cared he would've like … been here or at least called…

So later that night, after we finished our game, when Hayden caressed my face and constantly made ever effort to make sure our bodies were touching, I didn't resist it. In a way I felt like I was cheating on Jordan and as much as I felt remorse for it, I like _wanted _to get back at him. Even if he wasn't there to see it, I would know that I'd let another guy touch me like Jordan always did.

* * *

**Jordan**

That party was like majorly stupid. Stupid. It was just like all the others, except that Angela wasn't there and Rosa wasn't picking up. Rosa's like the Angela substitute for me and sometimes more than that because I can like get her to do whatever I want, like whatever…

That's always good to know. I can like bail on her, ditch her, treat her … whatever … and she doesn't care. It doesn't like matter to her and it's _easy_. Angela is not so easy. She's .. I can't quite decide what she is, but it's a fun game for me. I want to figure it out and figure her out.

I want her to like be there so that I can go back to her whenever I want. But tonight, I was going to go to this bowling thing and like … steal her away. I smiled, still partly high from the marijuana and other shit I'd just finished smoking.

When I burst into the bowling alley, confidently, I saw Angela's red hair instantly. It like … called to me or something. I would've approached her right away, but I saw her hands holding onto some other guy's hands. And he was like touching her and stuff…

I was going to walk out. I was going to walk away and make Rosa come see me and give me a dose of her physical therapy but then … she turned around and recognized me. I watched her eyes go from guilt to surprise to joy.

"Jordan, what are you doing here?" She wondered, walking up to me in her dorky bowling shoes.

"You invited me." I whispered, walking halfway behind her and hugging her from behind. She giggled softly and then turned to look at me. "You hair…"

"I know. I'm still not used to it myself." Angela looked down at the floor shyly. Why did she do that? She didn't have to. She wasn't a nobody like me. Angela Chase like … meant something.

"Can you bail with me? For a sec?" I asked as she nodded, eagerly bumping me into an empty wall and looking at me longingly. I kissed her immediately, without hesitating, allowing my hands to touch all over her as much as possible.

I could feel the softness of her face, the warmth on her back, the thin bones of her hips. In those few moments I allowed myself to kiss Angela, like _really _kiss her. Slowly. I took my time. I wanted it to last… it wasn't like a quick 'get it done' mission, but something that warranted like as much touching as possible.

"Jordan…" She breathed as I eased up a little. "What are we doing?"

"Kissing." I responded, wrapping my arms around her to draw her back in.

"No. We can't … I'm like on a _date_." That last word like crushed me. Seriously. I pulled on my jacket, straightening it out, and then reached in my pocket for a cigarette.

"What are you doing?"

"I should like…. go."

"No. Don't." She begged. "Please … you can join us. We'll do another game and everything…" She offered. I shrugged in response, looking at the pay phone in the back.

"You got a quarter?"

"Sure." Angela looked around frantically as I resisted reaching out and touching her again. It felt so good … like illegal good. Better than the shit I've rolled up and smoked good.

She carefully placed the money into my palm, both of us still breathing loudly. Without saying another word or looking at her like I really … cared or anything, I walked away towards the phone.

"Rosa … I need you to meet me someplace … now…"

* * *

**Rosalie**

"Rosa, I'd like you to meet Graham Chase…" Mom introduced me as I flicked him off in response.

"You're a sorry excuse for a father … and a husband." I scolded him immediately. If he thought I needed a father, he was wrong. I had lived sixteen years without one and the last thing I wanted was someone trying to tell me what to do.

"Rosa--"

"Do NOT apologize for me or try to excuse my behavior. Graham … I'm just telling you what you're going to hear from your wife once she finds out." I snorted at him bitterly.

"Okay … now that we've done the introductions, why don't you tell Rosa what's been going on Graham?"

"Umm … Rosa--"

"You don't get to call me that."

"Okay. Sorry." He stumbled over his words like an idiot. I found it hard to believe that two women were capable of being in love with this fool at the same time.

"Ro.."

"Rosalie. Call me Rosalie."

"Rosalie, as you know … your mother and I have been seeing a lot of each other. And it's gotten to the point where we've been thinking about taking it to the next level."

"Marriage?" I asked, cynically. They couldn't be serious, could they?

"Actually, you're not too far off. I've asked Graham to move in with us." Mom stepped in.

"You haven't." I gasped. "Are you serious? Why … Dear God, _why_?"

"Stop being dramatic. You're finally getting a normal family--"

"NO… I'm taking someone else's … don't you have a daughter or son Graham?"

"Two … actually, I probably should've told them first before coming here--"

"Ya think?" I snapped back, pissed that I was missing a party for this. I could've been hooking up with some gorgeous guy, but I was here playing house. "I am curious about why you want to move in? How long have you been seeing each other anyway?"

"Well, honey as you know … I've known Graham for over sixteen years and we've been seeing each other for the last eight months."

"So since summer, basically?" I rolled my eyes. "Summer romances are for single, unattached teenagers … not daughters of hippies and Baby Boomers." I remarked, looking at Graham. He had to be in his late forties and my mom was just under thirty-five. Gross.

"Let me explain this to you Rosa. Just shut up and listen."

"No. I won't listen…" I shook my head defiantly. "You don't need to tell me why we're meeting because I already know. There's another little Rosa in the oven, right mom? Graham wants to move in to clear his conscious about poor fatherless me by making it up to whatever demon child is growing in your belly. And I don't want anything to do with it."

"Rosalie, please wait." Graham stood up suddenly, reaching for me.

"Don't touch me." I started to walk out and only stopped to answer the phone. "All right … I'll be there. Give me a minute." Grabbing Graham's car keys off the front counter, I rushed out of the house and to meet Jordan. I was in need for a quick Rosa-Jordan tryst anyway.

* * *

**Danielle**

"Sorry about that." Angela came back, without scruffy guy, with her lipstick looking a little less fresh and seeming disheveled, physically and mentally.

"Sure you are." I watched Brian look at her with jealousy in his eyes.

"So, Brian … I totally read that _Dangerous Liasisons _book you told Angela about. It's _fascinating_." I gushed, leaning over the bowling ball rack, hoping that he could see whatever budding cleavage I didn't quite have.

"That's nice." Brian was looking at the ground, obviously frustrated with everything.

I tried slinging my hair over my left shoulder like I had seen Cindy Crawford do in her jeans ad, but Brian barely flinched and I ended up hurting my neck a little. With a sigh, I resigned myself to sitting beside him with my hand hovering over his.

The next few minutes were a repeat of the earlier ones, with Brian pining after Angela, who was being schmoozed by college boy until a girl burst into the bowling alley with an energy that _screamed _sex.

My jaw dropped as scruffy guy came out from the shadows and the two engaged in a tongue bath. Angela cringed, dropping the bowling ball on Brian's foot and he jumped around, panicked. After that, I didn't see what else happened because I was determined to help Brian.

I could already guess. Scruffy guy would kiss Angela when sex girl wasn't looking and when Angela turned away, he'd sneak off in a corner with sex girl, leaving Angela with college boy.

* * *

**Rosa**

"There's no way you can go with us to the party Brian." Angela declared as he kept staring at her. Overprotective.

"I think Brian should do whatever the hell he wants." I commented.

"Well, no one like asked you." Angela's mini-me chimed in.

"There's an age minimum and you don't fit it." I responded.

"And since Danielle can't go home _alone _and Brian is _injured_, then he has to take her home, right?" Angela nudged Brian who nodded weakly. Funny. I don't even remember her apologizing to Brian.

I think she said something along the lines of 'God Brian, watch where I'm stepping' … or if she didn't, it looked like just the kind of thing a privileged white girl like herself would say. Angela stared at Jordan, searching for answers and I didn't even bother clinging to his arm.

I wasn't his girl, but I did know that no innocent face or chemistry he had with another girl had ever stopped him from meeting me in our secret hiding places.

As Brian left with the sister, Angela snuggled up closer to the other guy and I turned to face Jordan for a second. "You called me for this drama."

"No. You know why I called you."

"But that's no fun for me … you have to do something for me before I do something for you." I moved in closer to Jordan, playing with the button on his pants.

"Fine." He pushed me off and walked closer to Angela, crossing his hands in front of his chest. "Angela … are you going to the party with us?"

"Actually, we're going to a different party." The guy answered.

"I'm sorry … who are you?" I inquired with a smirk. It was fun to say what everyone else was thinking.

"Jacob. And I'm taking Angela somewhere else."

"Good. I'd love to go somewhere new." I agreed, defusing the situation before the two of them went to blows over that Princess Diana wannabe. "Come on Jordan." I pulled him into me, kissing him lustfully and then smiling afterwards when I saw how pissed he looked. That would hurt poor Angela's feelings. So what?

* * *

**Angela **

I looked around at the party. Everyone was making out, like we were back in middle school or something except that I knew it wouldn't stop at kissing. I knew that it would go way further than I was ready to go with anyone, much less a guy I had just met, not matter how cute he was.

When he took me through an upstairs bedroom outside on the balcony, I was relieved. It showed me that he wasn't just trying to like get something out of me. We talked for a little bit, but it was just fun … well, as fun as it can get when your mind is like constantly focused on someone else.

By the time we started kissing … it wasn't even Hayden who provoked it, but _me_, by the time we were kissing, I couldn't like remember what I'd had to drink or if this was the same party where Ricky and Rayanne went. I kissed him strongly, trying to force myself to feel something from him that I just like … couldn't.

He took this as a sign to start taking off clothes, which I didn't seem to notice much until he started tugging on my dress and the tights I was wearing underneath them.

"Ha-Hayden, I think we should stop." I begged as he paused and then kept kissing me.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of you … it'll be fun."

"No, you don't get it … I don't want to."

"Sure." He laughed again and kept tugging until the tops of my tights were further and further away from my thighs.

"No … Hayden … don't." I struggled to sit up, but he pushed me back down, forcefully. From there, I kept fighting and struggling as much as I could. I screamed and kicked, pounded and scratched but it was as useless as hitting a brick wall. Not for one second did I stop. I wasn't going to make this easy for him.

For a moment he eased up and I realized that both of his hands were working on his pants.

"Please." I begged, now crying. It was real now. I prayed to God to make it stop. Make Hayden drop dead. Make the cops show up … something.

Instead, I was faced with a horrible realization … until Jordan Catalano showed up. Hayden was yanked off of me with such force that I had to blink to make sure that it wasn't imaginary. There was a brief scuffle and then Hayden was being pounded over and over and over.

"Jordan…." I breathed, my voice cracking.

"Angela …. Are you…"

"Don't kill him." I responded, shivering for no apparent reason.

"Let me take you home." Jordan reached for my hand, gently, not forcing himself on me, not using this as another excuse to get close to me.

When we'd left the balcony and the house, I broke down crying. I crumbled to the grass, a strange mix of screams and cries coming from my mouth. Jordan wrapped his arms around me as I buried my head into his shoulder. He rocked me back and forth until I could no longer cry, until every tear duct seemed to be empty.

"Are you ready to go home?"

"I can't go home … my mom can't know … can you take me to Rayanne's house?"

* * *

(A/N: I decided to make Jordan different from my other stories _So Hard to Make Them Fly _and _Beautiful Goodbye _so that I don't end up rewriting the same story! I hope you love it. Idk what the Angela-Jordan status will be, so if you have suggestions, share them. --NL)


	11. No White Flag Above My Door

**Chapter Eleven: No White Flag Above My Door **

**

* * *

**

**Angela **

"Are you finally going to tell me what happened? You've stayed over here since Wednesday night … through the weekend. It's Monday and you owe me." Rayanne threatened as though she was in a position to do so. I guess she had a right to think so.

I did invite myself over to her house for almost a week, long enough for me to run away from Jordan and try to figure this whole thing out. Why couldn't I just tell her that I like … was almost raped.

I still hadn't talked to Jordan about it. I was embarrassed because it was my fault, really. It was my fault.

Who did I think I was trying to be all sexy and go out with a college boy? That wasn't me. I was some naïve simple typical girl and I proved it by going up that room with him.

I shook my head, trying to tear away the memory and the utter horror that I had felt. I probably should tell someone. I probably should, but I cannot. What would they think of me?

In situations like this, people never believed the girl. They always called her a whore and I was far from a whore, but I didn't want my reputation dragged through the mud.

I didn't … want to say anything.

"Come on Angela, spill. Did you go all the way with that college guy?"

"Yeah …" I muttered absentmindedly. I wasn't going to talk to Rayanne about what really happened, but Jordan … I felt super-embarrassed by still … I had to go find him.

* * *

**Jordan**

I hated what had happened to Angela. It had happened to many women before in my life, due to my sadistic father … yeah, sadistic is the way to describe him.

One thing that I'm thankful for this that I could stop her from sharing the fate of other battered women. Angela was better than that. I didn't want anyone to sully her, to like … spoil her.

She was like one of the few people I knew who wasn't jaded about everything … even after all the disappearing acts I'd put her through, Angela always had a smile for me and a life. I like … _needed_ her.

Monday morning came and I still hadn't seen her since that night. I wanted to. I had even tried, driven to her house every night but … she wasn't there. I should've checked Rayanne's. I can be so stupid sometimes …

"Angela!" I yelled, fully unconcerned about my image at this point. "I need to talk to you." I rushed after her in the hallway until she turned around.

"I don't want to talk. I'm so embarrassed."

"My like … mom was raped … and beaten and … it doesn't like matter. I know what it can do to someone. I don't want it to ruin you."

Angela looked to me with glistening eyes, falling into my chest and crying uncontrollably. She needed that release. I knew that she did.

**"**You didn't deserve that and you have nothing to like … be ashamed … I don't want to like see you hurt … ever."

Rocking Angela back and forth in my arms, knowing that she talked to me about what she was feeling was the most intimate and real that I'd ever gotten with her.

We played hooky again that day, but not to go make out in my car which was like so … juvenile right now … she just talked to me and I like listened and said stuff, stuff that made me sound smart. Stuff that I could never say to anyone else.

* * *

**Danielle**

Apparently I'm the only one who cares about this family and who wants to save it from damnation. I can tell that my parents are having a hard time, but they cannot divorce. Divorce means two houses, a new school, and possibly moving away.

Dad hadn't been staying at home with us and mom was making herself scarce which was unlike her. She was always in our faces over everything. I waited out in the living room right after school, determined to confront one of them.

"Where have you been?" I asked mom when she walked into the house. She wasn't the parent that I wanted to see, but I'd have to hear her side of the story first.

"Oh honey. You scared me." Mom giggled, cavorting around in a gangly way as though her body controlled her. She had been drinking.

"What's going on and where's dad?"

"Where's dad? Dad …" Mom rushed to the kitchen, looking for him. "Where are you? Are you there … nope." She chuckled again, this time repeating the same gesture in the dining room.

"Mom, be serious. When is dad coming home?"

"Graham is _never _coming home. I served him the papers this afternoon!" She cheered as my heart dropped. There had to be a way to reverse this nightmare.

* * *

**Rosa**

Normally, I wouldn't feel bad for privileged little girls like Angela who were happy all the time because they hadn't had a dose of reality. There was something that was bothering me though and it was mostly that … I didn't want to share her with Jordan.

She had a right to know just how intimate our relationship was and … she needed to know that no one was changing that.

I did a very nice thing by not doing this at school in front of everyone. Rather, I invited her over to my house unconcerned as to whether my bimbo mother and _Graham, _now a threefold deadbeat dad, were home or not.

When she came to the door, I buzzed her in and met her downstairs. "I'm on the 5th floor." I explained, brushing my deep waves to one side and walking an confidently as possible.

"Hi." Angela squeaked, following me with her oversized flannel shirt on. I tried not to smirk and waited until we were inside my mom's condo to let her have it.

"Okay, let's get to it."

"To what?"

"Jordan is mine. I don't want to share him with anyone. I know you know that we've done a lot more than just hold hands and look at each other with puppy dog eyes." I paused. "It's serious."

"I'm sorry that you feel that way, but I think it's Jordan's decision who he wants to be with and her decision if she wants to be with him back."

"Don't think suburbia." I dismissed her statement. "You can't give him what I can give him."

"Jordan and I don't need sex to define our relationship. We understand each other."

"So you're not going to take the hint then … that's really stupid of you." I shrugged. "Well, we'll see how strong and definitive your relationship is after he hits it. Around school, Jordan is known for hitting it and quitting it. I suggest you hold onto your virginity as long as possible."

"I'm going to go now." Angela got up abruptly looking flustered. I smiled. Mission accomplished. For once the Latina would conquer the Arian but … my victory was short-lived.

"Mami's home!" My mother arrived with Graham on her arm. I rolled my eyes. Normally I was good at ignoring them, but not today. Maricela turned to kiss Graham and Angela stood, stuck in her spot.

"Oh … my God!" Angela burst out of the house in sobs. Graham started to chase after her saying:

"Angela, sweetheart … let me explain."

* * *

**Angela **

What do you say to your mother after you discover that your dad's been cheating on her? I didn't know or even want to find out, but with the way I was feeling … it would be impossible to lie to her.

How could my dad like do that? It wasn't like he was just cheating on my mom, but me, and Danielle … our entire family. And like he was hanging out at Rosa's house???

It made me sick. She made me sick. Her mother made me sick … and I really felt alone in this. The only place that I felt like I could go and just vent was at Jordan's.

I hadn't actually spent time with him at his house, but calling was too impersonal.

* * *

**Jordan **

My house is like one of those TV things where they should you how _not _to raise kids. If people came in and filmed at my house, they'd say, 'This is how to make sure your kids end up more screwed up than you.'

If I only had myself to worry about, I would have run out a long time ago and lived with Tino or Rosa … whatever. I had lots of friends, but leaving my little brother to fend for himself? I couldn't do it.

I took care of him. I bought his clothes, made sure he bathed, gave him food … I was his parent or like … parent-like. My brother Cameron … I couldn't let him end up like me. I was really screwed up. I did stupid shit. I hurt innocent people like Angela.

"Are you okay Jordy?" Cam asked as I nodded, making sure he finished the rest of his macaroni. He did.

"Alright now … time to go … put on your pjs."

"I don't want to go to sleep."

"You have to." I demanded as Cameron made a run for it. I chased after him, going around in circles until the doorbell rang. I answered it. "Who is it?"

"Angela!" Her broken voice replied as I opened the door immediately and hugged her like never before. I couldn't remember hugging her before.

"Are you okay?"

"No. My dad he … he's leaving my mom." She choked out, her face tear-stained. I temporarily put the Cameron situation on hold as Angela looked up at me all wide and doe-eyed. "Who's he?"

"My baby brother." I retorted. "I like … take care of him …"

* * *

(A/N: Yeah! I'm almost done with this one. Review and _So Hard to Make Them Fly_ is going to be updated soon too! --NL)


	12. I'm in Love and Always Will Be

**Chapter Twelve: I'm in Love and Always Will Be **

* * *

**Danielle**

I opened the door, knowing that it wasn't for me. It never was. Angela had disappeared last night and I was guessing from the fact that dad came over and got in an argument with mom, that she had found out.

I knew something was going on and now it was too late to stop it. My parents were officially over and there was nothing that I could do about it. One thing was clear … we weren't going to be staying here.

Logically, why would my mom want to stay in a house littered with memories of her cheating ex? Why would Angela and I want to be somewhere where we could remember the times where dad told us bedtime stories or taught us how to cook or … anything?

It majorly sucked. Big time.

But once again, I was the one person in the family whose feelings were overlooked. Mom was out looking for Angela, now that she was no longer passed out in the guest room crying her eyes out, Angela was gone, dad was probably with his mistress, and I was home alone. Forgotten.

As usual. The most interesting thing to happen to me today was this door bell ringing and I was already preparing myself to chase that person away. I opened the door abruptly to get it over with but all thoughts left my head once I saw him, Brian.

"Is Angela here?"

"Come in." I offered, not even answering his question. "Did you bring her something?"

"Yeah … flowers." Brian handed them to me as I tried not to show my frustration. Really? Flowers? I was the more developed of the two sisters and I could barely get Brian to look at me.

"Well, she's not here. And you can go if you'd like." I blew him off, hoping that I made Brian wonder what was really going on.

"What's going on Danielle?"

"My world is falling apart … I guess you'll be the first to hear it but my parents are getting a divorce. My dad cheated…"

"Does Angela know?" Out of all the questions to ask, this was the coldest, most selfish thing that Brian had asked me.

"Get out."

"What?"

"Out. Now!" I threw a pillow at him angrily.

"But why? What did I do?"

"My _parents _are splitting up and the first thing you ask is what's going on with Angela? You don't even ask me how I'm doing or how it's affecting me?" I shook my head, disappointed. "I really thought you were different Brian."

"I'm sorry. How are you feeling … is there anything that I can do to make you feel better?"

"Just one thing. You have to tell me if you'll say yes before I tell you what it is."

"Okay. Anything." Brian agreed.

"I was hoping you'd say that." My expression changed to be the closest thing that resembled a smile. I walked over to Brian and hugged him, which he received warmly and then tried to brush my lips against his, as I'd seen Julia Roberts do in 'Pretty Woman.'

"Danielle?" He bobbed out of the way.

"You said anything."

"I'm sorry. Not this. I'm like into Angela."

"Angela. Angela. Heaven forbid that she have a little sister!" I gave Brian a swift push towards the door and planned to do the only thing I knew that would make it better.

Once people knew Angela, they forgot all about me. If I could start over and live without Angela being around, then for once, people would give me attention and love me. Not treat me like the invisible child.

* * *

**Angela**

You never really like know people, no matter how much time you spend with them or think about being with them. No matter how much you watch them, you never really know someone until they fully open up and let you see the parts of themselves that they're too afraid to show.

Jordan Catalano has surprised me, to say the least. He has gone from being the guy that I _lived _to see to someone I knew I could never be with, to my hero to … whatever you want to call him now.

We spent the last hour reading and trying to get Cameron to go to sleep. After which, Jordan looked at me shyly from behind his over-grown hair. I knew his secret now.

"I'm like … sorry about that. Do you still feel like talking?"

"No. Not yet. I mean like I don't want to ruin it. This, I can't believe it. It makes me feel like I don't know you at all."

"No one knows."

"So is it like a secret?"

"I like that you're the only one who like _knows_." Jordan admitted as I nodded. I got what he was saying.

"So, where are your parents?" Jordan shrugged in response and I could see that this was the wrong way to go.

"Truthfully … like I'm starting to think they're the problem and not me." Jordan hugged me, like he just _got it _and I tried not to cry even though I really wanted to. I hated them so much, my mom for marrying my dad, my dad for cheating and creating Rosa, and Rosa for taking over my entire life.

* * *

**Rosa**

"Do you really have to do this here?" I rolled my eyes at my 'parents,' probably more upset than Angela that they were together.

"Well, Graham is staying with us now-"

"Please." I begged, rolling my eyes, leaving the kitchen and picking up the phone. "Catalano, get your ass over here."

"I like … can't."

"Why?" I demanded, feeling instantly defensive.

"Angela's-"

"Tell her to go home. I'm coming over." I threatened, but we both knew that unless he came to get me, I was stuck here.

"The thing is Rosa … she needs me." Jordan sighed.

"I need you more." I whined back. "Look, just pick me up tomorrow. Don't be late." I slammed the phone down and ran up the stairs and tried not to cry. I really wanted to cry … but then this idea started forming.

Angela wanted to mess with my life, so I was going to have a little fun with hers.

* * *

**Rayanne**

Angela was back to hating me, almost more than before, and I couldn't figure it out. She seemed so into Hayden and we were cool when I left Vinny's. There were two people that I could ask but one would cause less damage than the other.

"Krakow!" I yelled to him, crawling out of my little corner. I had been waiting for him for a good half hour.

Angela didn't know that she was the best girlfriend that I'd ever had and I didn't want her to go away over stupid meaningless sex with Jordan.

"Hi." Brian answered with his normal nervous energy.

"What happened after we left you at Vinny's?"

"We went bowling with that Hayden guy and like … Jordan showed up and Rosa and-"

"Did he crash the date?"

"Sort of." Brian scrunched up his nose.

"Well, then what?"

"I don't know." He shrugged.

"What do you mean you don't know?" My voice grew louder.

"They went to a party or something, okay?" Krakow walked away briskly before I could get anything else out of him.

"Catalano!" I screamed over the crowd in the hallways, until I found him. "What's up with Angela?"

* * *

**Rosa **

"You're cute." I cornered Brian in the hallway a few days after Storm Angela arrived. And by the way, Jordan didn't pick me up.

"Hi."

"Look, I have an idea…" I began. "There's a school dance coming up and I thought it would be a good idea if we'd go together."

"You mean the Sadie Hawkins?"

"Yeah. You have a date?" I breathed carefree. Guys like Brian never said no because they were enamored with the idea of _any _girl expressing interest. My interest was completely feigned of course.

"No … but I was like…"

"Good." I pretended to be relieved. "I didn't know how to ask you since I was a little nervous… but I'm glad." I answered back and started to walk away.

"Hey Rosa, do you want to like go … and like…"

"Hang out? Totally." I smiled, triumphed. "How's today sound?" I pushed and so was born a new 'dating thing' starring me and Nerd Boy. He was only part of my plan. I still had her friends Rayanne, Ricky and Sharon to get on my side.

And what about Jordan, you ask?

He'll come back because we fit together better than any other two people.

* * *

**Danielle**

I was sitting outside of my house on the hard, damp concrete steps and you know what, it felt so much better than being inside my big "comfy" house.

Without mom and dad on good terms, it felt like a big joke, like every good memory or happy thought was now menacing. I could barely think about anything else, except mom's words that we were leaving soon.

After Angela's Birthday, which was supposed to be the last hoorah before it was all over.

I sighed, wishing that I had something cool like a cigarette or really long hair to let blow back in the wind. Only, I'd cut it all off in rebellion against everything that was going on. So now, I resembled Macaulay Culkin more than Demi Moore from Ghost.

"Hey!" Brian yelled from across the street, picking up the newspaper from his front yard.

He looked more … relaxed than I'd seen him before. His hair was pulled away from his face, a gray shirt and relaxed jeans … Brian was still the most gorgeous guy that I'd ever seen. I thought about the last time I saw him and that stupid attempt at a kiss.

But it would just be easier to ignore him. I placed my head on my knees and closed my eyes, taking in a few deep breaths and planning my escape.

Maybe I could just get up and run. What would mom say when I wasn't home tonight or the next night? Would they even notice?

Probably not.

"You okay?" Brian wondered, sitting beside me. I was so into my little hypothetical situation that I didn't have time to plan my escape from him.

"The party isn't until next week."

"I know when Angela's Birthday is."

"Good. Then what do you want?"

"Last time, I didn't ask how you were … now, I like want to know…"

"You know they say divorces are the most tragic things to happen next to deaths." I answered back truthfully.

"That's nothing compared to watching your parents separate, divorce, get married again and then end up in between being separated and married." He answered back, patting me on the knee. "You'll get through this."

"In a new town, with no friends."

"You can always like … call me if you want to talk."

"I know you like loooovvveee Angela. Being friends with me won't get you any closer to having her love you back."

"I didn't like mean it like that-"

"Can you go Brian? You're making it worse … the same way that you like feel when Angela runs off with Jordan is how I feel whenever I know you're like thinking about her." My mouth started running off with me. "I mean I'm like totally waiting for you to like wake up and get it. I could've had my first kiss by now, but I wanted it to be special and I wanted it to-"

"Like be with _me_?" He asked as we both sat in silence as I stared at him.

"And I don't know why." I looked down and away.

"Danielle, I don't … feel that way about you. You're probably the smartest kid I know but, you're just a child. If I like made you think otherwise-"

"Thanks for letting me down gently. And I'm not like just a kid Brian." I stood up to get going. This sucked. Majorly. A bad day had gone to probably the worst day of my life.

"You can find someone who likes you Danielle, who sees you as more than I do." He offered, following me.

"What are you doing?"

"Just don't like take this the wrong way. I'm only like doing this because…" His face trailed off and Brian's lips brushed against mine gently. Everyone in the world paused for a moment and I looked at him, stunned.

"What was that for?"

"Now you can tell your friends that you got that first kiss from a kid in high school." He gave me a nudge on the shoulder, and I was convinced that I would never wash these lips again, or this outfit again.

"Wait!" I yelled as he started to turn around. "Can you like … do that one more time? I don't want to forget how it feels."

* * *

**Angela **

Life is so funny. It's like when you think that it's all bad and crappy, someone goes and has a baby or gets married or comes back to life and then you like wonder why you weren't the one who had the good thing happen.

But Sharon really needed this good thing, this miracle. I couldn't even believe that I was here, at the hospital coming to see her but I was. Mom made me go but Sharon thought I went to support her. I hadn't even known that she was pregnant until … now. Rosa was there too, like she customarily seemed to be now. All of my old friends were hers now. Even Ricky, but I tried to ignore it and focus on that beautiful baby.

I guess grudges don't die so hard. Maybe all it takes is showing people you love them or care and then you're back to being even. But the real reason that I didn't argue with mom about being here was that I knew that I would be leaving soon.

Soon as in before the week ended soon. And _soon _all of this would be like a memory. I wouldn't be able to look back at Jordan or Rayanne or Ricky and think about how much they meant to me.

It wouldn't matter because I wouldn't be here. We would be three hours away in Jersey of all places living in my grandparent's house until my mom figured things out.

I was just putting the last piece of tape on the last box of my stuff when my mom popped into the house early.

"All packed kiddo?"

"Yeah mom." I sighed wondering why we had to leave Pennsylvania. Why couldn't we just move to another area? Why were we leaving now … when I was finally okay with everyone again?

"Perfect. Change in plans." She put on a forced smile.

"We're leaving today." I stood up suddenly.

"But I told everyone I'd be here until Saturday. Mom, that's not fair!"

"I'm sorry Angela. I ran the numbers and we save more money this way. Plus, you're ready, I'm ready."

"What about Danielle?" I asked, rushing to a phone and hoping to get a hold of Jordan. The phone just kept ringing until I got voicemail. I could've called anyone else, but Jordan was the one I'd miss the most.

* * *

**Brian **

"Anything else left in the house?" I wondered, helping the Chase's with everything. Angela was crying like crazy and Danielle kept giving me sly looks.

I knew what those were about … they were about the fact that the kiss that I'd given to her last week hadn't stopped there. Every second that we could get alone, I was like kissing her.

I couldn't help it. I'd never had a girl look at me like I was their world before.

"I think there's one last thing in my room." Danielle urged me back up the stairs, shutting the room behind her and hugging me closely. "I don't want to like … go." I could feel a wet tear moisten my T-shirt.

"I know. But you'll be here during the summer." I answered back, but what was I thinking saying that to her? Leading her on…

"A lot can change by then."

"Yeah." I sighed, pushing my hair out of my face. Danielle reached up to help me and ended up kissing me in the process. "I'll come to visit." I found myself promising in between the kissing.

"Good." She gave me one last hug and went rushing into the car.

Angela piled into too and I looked at my watch. I guessed no one else got the memo.

Ms. Chase beeped the horn and as she started to pull off, that stupid red sports car popped up and out ran Jordan Catalano.

Just like in the movies, he said a few words to Ms. Chase, then Angela and finally got into the car with them.

* * *

**Angela **

I couldn't believe that my mom was being so unreasonable and like irresponsible. My friends were like throwing this big part thing for me and now I wasn't even going to be there.

I tried explaining everything to her but my mom was like super-determined to go asap, which meant that Danielle had probably blabbed to the man formerly known as my father, when and what time we were leaving.

Pouts, protesting, and out-right crying did nothing to like shake my mom. She didn't care about anything that I had to say.

Brian and Danielle went off for a moment and then she liked climbed back into the car, looking elated but saddened at the same time. If I was more interested in my sister, I would ask her what that was about but … I didn't like care about anything except this screwed-up situation.

After all of this, how could Rosa win?

"We'll make it through girls." My mom answered to an audience that wasn't buying it. She started to pull out of the yard, with Brian waving dumbly at us, until a red car cut her off. She beeped the horn.

It was Jordan.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and rolled down the window as he got my mom's attention and then climbed into the seat next to me.

I grinned brightly as he put on his seat belt and held my hand tightly, reaching it up to his face to give me a kiss.

"What about Cameron?" I asked, wanting to make sure that this was real.

"They're on Spring Break so I like … found this community camp for him so I'm like…"

"Going to Jersey?"

"Yeah. I mean not like forever but … for a while." He promised, staring at me intensely. I couldn't say or do what I wanted, not with my mom in the car.

"Mom. I like ride to New Jersey with Jordan? I promise we'll like follow you the whole way."

"Sure." She sighed. "But we have to leave now." Ms. Chase bargained as the two not-so-perfect teens hopped out of the car and into the red car that Angela never even got a chance to miss.

"How did you know?"

"Danielle called me … and I like had to see you one more time." Until that moment, I had never really cared too much about my sister, but I would be eternally grateful and thank God for annoying little sisters.

"I should be mad at you …. For Rayanne and Rosa."

"You should." He agreed.

"And I shouldn't like be so quick to like … love you, but … I can't help it."

"Good. I won't like screw it up this time. I don't want to lose you."

* * *

(A/N: Jordan's not the bad guy in this story. Check out my other one which is a lot less innocent/more edgier on the Jordan-Angela thing: _So Hard to Make Them Fly _or other non-MSCL fics by me **(shameless promotion)...** _Get Over Me, You Left Me Alone, or Beautiful Goodbye. _-NL)


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